The credits roll and the small timer starts counting down until the next episode. ‘Might as well’ she thinks to herself, ‘this will be the last one’. Before she knows it, she’s 3, okay maybe 6 episodes in, when she only wanted to watch one.
I could describe many of my nights, and perhaps my days with the little paragraph above. Somehow, I would rather spend time with the people in my laptop than real life human beings. And yet, if you were to ask me what I just watched, if I enjoyed it, and what it was really about, I would barely be able to tell you. Anyone else see a problem with that?
My brain doesn’t seem to function without this constant feed of entertainment and mindless noise. I am not sure I am even enjoying what I am watching anymore, but I do know that I continue to scroll through the automatic trailers, looking for something to fill up my time. There is something unsettling, even uncomfortable about the silence. Silence forces me to think, remember, reflect, meditate and pray.
But Netflix serves as such a powerful distraction. I can live vicariously through others, I can forget all of the current problems. I can run from the issues and confrontations that I have had that day. For a couple of hours, I no longer have to plan that lesson, write that paper, read that convicting passage. I do not have to wonder if I should have talked to that co-worker more politely, or shared the gospel with a peer. I do not have to be convicted by the gossip I flirted with earlier that day, or the self-righteousness that clothes me on a daily basis. I don’t have to feel guilty that I have spent hours watching Netflix, but have yet to turn to the Lord in prayer. I can do that later right? I don’t have to worry about feeling guilty about this habitual sin of mine, because I know that others are struggling with the same. This is MY time… right? But therein lies the problem.
I am numbed by Netflix.
I am numb. Currently numb. Unable to think, process, not wanting to feel. Replace the word Netflix with any form of entertainment, and you will likely find me guilty of it. I have replaced critical thinking, emotional feelings, healthy despair, compassionate sensitivity, necessary repentance, and Godly dependance with Netflix. Netflix, is not bad in and of itself, but I have slowly watered it, grown it into my best friend, a need in my life, an escape…. an idol. I have developed more of a dependance on Netflix than I have on prayer and the word of God.
On this Christmas morn, I am reminded by the birth of Jesus, the incarnation of God and the beauty of His Glory, yet while this truth resonates in my mind, I can feel the need for Netflix trying to crawl its way to the front. Netflix and entertainment in general, is the “weight and sin which clings so closely” (Hebrews 12:1), preventing me from “running with endurance the race that is set before us”. Don’t get me wrong, Netflix isn’t the only idol and sin in my life (don’t get me started on food), but currently it consumes most of my mind, my thoughts… His time that He has bestowed on me.
Matt Papa, in his book, Look and Live, challenges his readers to ask the Holy spirit to “lift the veil” for them; the veil that is preventing us from seeing the glory of the Lord. I have found myself repeating that phrase on multiple occasions. Papa quotes 2 Corinthians 3:16 ‘But when one turns to the Lord, the veil is removed’. I know what I have to do, I just have to do it. Instead of pressing play, I need to pause and look to the Lord. So that ‘I, with unveiled face, can behold the glory of the Lord, and be transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another’ – 2 Corinthians 3:18.
I hope that time spent in silence will stir me, stir me to good works, stir me to repentance, allow me to feel again, and face my issues and worries face on. I hope that time spent with the Lord will be just that, I want to be able to hear His voice again, and to grow in dependance in Him. I want to be able to say that I am completely satisfied by Him, leaving it all behind to reach for more of Him. I want Him to lead my life, rather than asking Him to bless the decisions that I have made for myself. Remove this weight Lord, lift this veil, help me to see YOUR glory.
“The brightness of Your glory has arrived. In Your presence God, I’m completely satisfied. For You, I sing, I dance. I rejoice in this divine romance. Lift my heart and my hands to show my love.” – Divine, Phil Wickham.
Grace upon Grace 