I HATE you… BUT…

Dear You,

I hope you know that words hurt, and so do your actions. I am neither intimidated nor scared of you, rather I am hurt and appalled BY you, and that a person with such a lack of humanity and compassion can actually exist. I hope you know that your passive aggressive attempt to make me feel small and incompetent has worked. I hope you know that your lack of support, your lack of love and sincerity has an effect on others. The way that you talk to and treat others is a reflection of who you are. Your pride and your “authority” have made you mean and unapproachable  when all is asked is for a smile and a kind word.

It is not okay put down other people & ignore their feelings. It is not okay to scream and belittle others in front of others. It is not okay to cut people off, embarrass others or ignore them as if they do not exist. It is not okay to use dominance, authority or power as a scare tactic; nor is it okay to sugar coat and pretend that everything is okay. You are human; so am I. And so, please be reminded that it is okay to be at fault and acknowledge when you are wrong. It is NOT weak to apologize, or admit that something is out of your comfort zone; understand that people do not come to you necessarily for answers, but for an opinion, for guidance, support, and a path to a solution. Humility does NOT equate weakness, nor dominance; strength.

Be compassionate, offer help, be part of a solution rather than the problem. Please stop using your position of authority to humiliate and belittle others. Use your power, use your experience to build people up and to learn. You are FAR from perfect, as am I – but how you make people feel will leave a lasting impression of who you are.

I was upset today. I am upset right now. I was in tears today – I am in tears right now. I do not hate many people, in fact; I cannot think of anyone that I dislike or hate. With the exception of you. I said it many times today, and I will say it again. I HATE YOU. I hate the way you make me feel, I hate the way you treat me. I hate the way you treat others, and I hate the way you put yourself on a pedestal.

I HATE YOU… BUT….

I will choose to love you & I will choose to forgive you. I will treat you with respect, kindness & love. I will love you genuinely, acknowledge your presence and respect your authority – Not because you deserve it, but because you DON’T.  I do not deserve to be forgiven or loved; I do not deserve the grace and mercy of God, or the sacrifice of Jesus on that cross for my sins. So in the same way that I am loved by Christ, is the same way that I hope to love you. Granted it will not be done with much ease, or comfort. Rather, it will be a huge struggle and a massive difficulty – But it is not me; rather the work of the Holy Spirit working in & through me.

When you see me, I hope you will see joy; the joy of my salvation and of Christ living in me. I hope that you will see the love – that I have for Christ and the love that I have for others, more importantly the love that He has for me. I hope that you will see peace – that I have because of my salvation, in knowing that His is the only opinion that matters. I hope that this will fill you with curiosity and wonder, and I pray that you will see me live out the gospel through my actions & my life. That sometime this year, I will be able to sit & share the power  and effect that the loving and saving power of Christ on me.

I hate you, BUT… with the saving power, strength & grace of God the father, Jesus the Son, and the Holy Spirit – I will love you.

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