It has been a massive struggle these past few weeks to get myself to pray and read the bible; reminding myself of the truth I believe in rather than the wisdom and “truths” of the world. I found myself worshipping my sin, rather than the Lord that I claimed to love.
Today I sat in service, trying to prepare my heart to be sincere – rather than go through the motions. I truly wanted to listen, learn and be transformed by the word of God once again. I wanted to intentionally make God the centre of my life, that I may love Him as my first love once again. God knows I need some serious intervention, and I had the absurd thought “What if the Pastor called me out by name?” . This was a ridiculous and selfish thought – Pastor Robbie doesn’t even know me by name yet. This was me making service about ME.
There is no doubt, God used the sermon to speak directly to me. I needed to wake up, but more so I was reminded that the change does not come from me – It comes from GOD – the Holy Spirit to be exact. I cannot love GOD on my own, I cannot make God my first love by myself. I need the hope, the power and the transformation of the Holy Spirit at work in my life. He listed blessings and evidence of how we know the Holy Spirit is at work in my life, and rather than checking them off, I was thinking to myself – “I want this again – where did it go?”
This verse – Revelations 3:5 – “The one who conquers will be clothed thus in white garments, and I will never blot his name out of the book of life. I will confess his name before my Father and before his angels.” – had be tearing up, thinking of myself standing before Jesus, and wanting so badly for Jesus to confess my name, rather than to deny me. And then I hear Pastor Robbie saying (as Jesus) – “I acknowledge Bob, I acknowledge Susan, I acknowledge … SANDRA!” I KID YOU NOT – this may not be a big deal to you – but to me, it was God talking directly to me. Planting that selfish, ridiculous thought in me at the beginning, only to actually call me BY NAME! Reminding me that He wants to acknowledge me and confess my name before the Father – He wants me to be alive in Him, repent, and strengthen what remains.
With the power of the Holy Spirit – I am waking up, and falling in love Christ all over again. I choose to CHOOSE CHRIST
Watch today’s sermon here: A Letter to the Spiritually Dead – Harvest Oakville (It’s long, but it’s great)
And as if it could be any more clear, from my reading tonight:
For the foolishness of God is wiser than men, and the weakness of God is stronger than men. For consider your calling, brothers: not many of you were wise according to worldly standards, not many were powerful, not many were of noble birth. But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong; God chose what is low and despised in the world, even things that are not, to bring to nothing things that are, so that no human being might boast in the presence of God. And because of him you are in Christ Jesus, who became to us wisdom from God, righteousness and sanctification and redemption, so that, as it is written, “Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord.” – 1 Corinthians 1: 25-31