Until He calls me by name.

For the past couple of years I have been torn about whether or not I should stay at Mississauga Chinese Baptist Church. At first it was due to the lack of community, but I chose to stay because I was serving in a the juniors ministry that at the time was extremely important and dear to my heart. In January of 2014 I stopped serving in Juniors, and as my heart hardened towards MCBC in November of 2014, I took the leap of faith and decided to commit to attending Harvest Bible Chapel in Oakville.

In these past couple of months at Harvest, I have never been more challenged, convicted and reminded of the Gospel. My discipline in prayer, my attitude and heart of worship, my walk in the word, and my heart of service has never been more Christ-centred. I do not attribute these changes to a church, no church is perfect; but rather to an everlasting, almighty, righteous, sovereign and Holy creator. I know that I am intentionally choosing Christ, and intentionally loving Him. And though I have made a commitment to Harvest Oakville, I can’t say that I have completely left MCBC.

This summer I have been serving at MoocheeBoochee Summer day Camp as the camp director. God has ultimately revealed His sovereignty to me and has revealed to me that he is capable of using us when we feel like we are unworthy. God has taught me that he can use us in any circumstance and to trust that He is working even though we cannot see the results. He has shown me through my time at MoocheeBoochee and my time at WAY camp that He has used me and has revealed the fruit of my service to Him. For a while, it felt like He was calling me back to MCBC – and if I were to follow my feelings & emotions, MCBC would probably be the place where I would stay. I am attached to the people here – the youth that I have served for, and the youth I now serve with, and I am also very attached to my small group – the community and the new & old friendships that have since then been resurrected and are now more christ-centred and stronger than before.

I have talked to Pastor Ken, who has said that the church that you attend is a calling. I can’t say for sure if I am being called to Harvest or MCBC. So then I asked myself “which decision would be more glorifying to God?”  and again I did not have an answer. Rather that brought up more questions, am I only to leave for a season, or for a lifetime? Is this season over even though it feels like it has just started?

I have decided to follow Jesus. Ultimately, that is the most important thing. No matter where I go, I know that my God is with me. I have decided that unless God calls me by name to specifically serve at MCBC or changes my circumstance and points me directly in the direction of MCBC, I will be staying at Harvest Oakville. The life stage that I am in right now allows me to live and serve sacrificially for Christ – in a way that I would not be able to if I had a family or in a relationship. I believe that Harvest will be able to best equip me for my future acts of service – including a mission trip in the summer of 2016 (God-willing). In addition to this, I am incredibly thirsty right now – thirsty for the Word of God, thirsty to Learn, thirsty to Grow, so selfishly – for my needs and for my personal walk with Christ, I will remain with Harvest Oakville…Until He calls me by name to MCBC again… if ever. 

“And the angel of the LORD appeared to him in a flame of fire out of the midst of a bush. He looked, and behold, the bush was burning, yet it was not consumed. An Moses said, “I will turn aside to see this great sight, why the bush is not burned” When the LORD saw that he turned aside to see, God called to him out of the bush, “Moses, Moses!” And he said, “Here I am”. ” – Exodus 3:2-4

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