what i would give…

to not be here right now studying for an exam that i have no confidence in
to go back in time, rewind, and replay the memories that i cherish so deeply
to have you realize how much you mean to me
to figure out what exactly went wrong, and how i can fix it
to learn from my mistakes, and to not make the same ones, over and over again
to look at you and not be filled with sadness and anger.
to talk to you again, and laugh, and smile like we used to.
to have confidence in myself, and believe in my own abilties
to learn to love God.
to walk in the rain, careless, worrisome and free
to have all the time in the world, when i feel like the day isnt long enough
to take away any hurtful words, unkind phrases, or cruel jokes that i’ve made
to have you want to talk to me again, and renew the friendship
to be free of fear, not scared, but brave
to feel like i can conquer anything
to move on in life when it feels like i am stuck with no where to go
to trust and have faith, that God has a plan for me and he knows what to do
to smile, love, laugh, live, like there is no pain, or hatred in the world.

oh what i would give…
– Sandra <3.


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